Receiving Critical Feedback – A Challenge

feedback-not-for-meIn a previous post I shared the leadership challenge of giving critical feedback in today’s over celebrated and politically correct environment.  I now want to share a few tips on how to receive critical feedback, which is a leadership development must.  If you want to improve you have to be able to receive and process critical feedback.  To be even more clear, I believe you will not significantly improve as a person until you can learn to receive and process feedback that can be challenging to hear.

Here are a few tips when receiving critical feedback:

  1. Feedback isn’t your identity – My identity is in Jesus Christ and whatever feedback I receive I refuse to let it hang on me to change who I am.  Without rooting yourself in who you are you will become what everyone wants you to become instead of who you were made to be.  If feedback is your identity then you will have a fear of criticism and you will search out affirmation from people instead of God.
  2. Discern the personal investment on the feedback you are about the receive – If someone is investing in you and on your future potential you should be completely open to hear and receive their feedback.  Conversely if a complete stranger gives you feedback you have to cautiously determine how and even if you need to adjust or respond.  You don’t need to respond to all criticism!
  3. Receive the feedback with open ears – If your posture becomes immediate defense when someone attempts to give you feedback your potential for improvement declines.
  4. Thank the person who is giving you feedback – There is no reason to do anything but thank the person who gives you the feedback.  It doesn’t mean you agree with them, but assume that they want you to improve.
  5. Consider and Pray about the feedback and how you should change / respond – You don’t have to immediately change.  Likely it took you decades to form your style and your mannerisms.  Changing it overnight can be clunky so be patient.  If you should adjust then adjust.   A big leadership mistake is to receive critical feedback but never do anything about it, even though it was outstanding.

 

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Giving Critical Feedback – A Challenge

feedback-help-professional-developmentI think we are losing the ability to give and receive critical feedback.  I know that is an over-generalization, but with the participation trophy society that we live in, it is becoming more and more challenging for leaders to impart wisdom and advice without being discounted as being overly critical.

When I was growing up I participated in band program and was somewhat musically inclined.  Throughout my teenage years I received A LOT of feedback.   When I inquire with others who participated in sports activities or other extra curricular activities it is a similar story – feedback, even critical feedback, was important to improve.  Throughout my entire working career in the marketplace feedback was exceedingly important to understand how I could improve.

The question was recently asked to me, how do leaders today give feedback without being perceived as negative or overly critical?

As I think through this challenge today here are some tips to consider:

  1. There should be an emotional bank account to dip from – If you are only giving feedback without a relationship you can easily be discounted as always being negative.
  2. Give feedback in a timely manner  – Memories fade quicker than you think.  Giving feedback on something a few weeks ago won’t be as effective as giving feedback on something that happened yesterday.
  3. Share feedback out of a foundation of improvement – Giving feedback should be drafted out of a desire to improve.  Feedback should never be a means to an end, rather a suggestion to help a person be even better than they are now.
  4. Don’t over compliment to bookend critical feedback – Whenever you need to share feedback for improvement don’t fall into the trap of always giving praise before and after the criticism.  You will end up softening the feedback that should be given and could miss the core message you are trying to impart.  Give praise when praise is due, but don’t overpraise just to give criticism.
  5. Go beyond the critical – Don’t just share that “Your performance was terrible”, share what they could have done differently to make it better and be specific!
  6. Follow-up – This is a frequently missed tip!  Follow-up after the feedback in a few days to see if the individual understood or if there are any questions or if they disagree. Many times the time for them to process your feedback generates an even healthier discussion a few days later.

In a follow-up post I will share a few tips on how to receive feedback.